3 Ways to Show You are Mature Enough to Have a Committed Relationship

Filed in Relationships by on February 27, 2015 1 Comment

This post is part of Loving in the Grown Zone Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers across the globe. To learn more and to join us as we change the conversation about healthy love, CLICK HERE!

I believe as men there are times we are caught up in pleasing others and being like “one of the guys.”  I can remember before I was married one of my friends was telling me “not to do it” and “once I’m in, I can’t get out.” His stories about his marriage were always negative.  I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in a marriage like his, but I knew I was mature enough to be a good husband and enjoy my marriage.  Many men seem to miss the point before marriage:  It’s important as an individual to mature and it’s equally important to learn how to treat a woman before marriage.  If you’re not mature, you’re not ready.  Don’t bring someone else into your “situation” until your situation becomes an opportunity to build a life and family with the woman you love.  Here are three ways to show you are mature enough to have a committed relationship or marriage:

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Financially Capable

Security when it comes to financial matters is important for women, but the size of your checking account is less important than your ability to manage what you have.  The fact is, wherever you are in life should reflect where you are in your financial situation.  There is no step by step manual here, but let’s be clear, a mature woman will not feel secure with a man who doesn’t have financial discipline, doesn’t have some level of financial management skills and does not have any income coming in.  It is relevant for us as men to understand we must take the reigns as leaders if we want to be recognized as such in our households.  If you want the ability to make financial decisions in your household, you need to bring the financial acumen to the table to make those decisions.  Women want men who are confident when handling money.  Women have a security gene men don’t have.  It’s your job to keep this gene satisfied, and financial security will help accomplish this.  Mature men find a way to keep some level of income coming in and make solid decisions with what they have.

Sex is no Longer a Bargaining Chip

As a relationship coach, it would likely surprise you how many women I talk to that use sex as a bargaining chip and most of them don’t realize they are doing it.  Many young ladies have not experienced what it is like to have a man who puts her needs before his.  Many women haven’t experienced the idea that a guy could be interested in their personality, charm and spirit above and beyond their bodies.  Too many women want to feel needed, and they are scared a man will leave, so they will offer sex as a way to get him to stay.  Hopefully, in the back of the woman’s mind, it’s also a way to his heart and he will eventually fall in love.  This is a broken mentality.  Mature men don’t use sex as a way to guarantee he will stay around.  Guys, if you want to be with a woman, treat her like she’s the awesome woman you want her to be.  If you prefer not to be with a certain woman, treat her with as much dignity and respect as you would want a man to treat your mother or sister and move on.  Mature men don’t use sex for anything other than what it is, an expression of love in covenant.

Put Away Childish Things

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13 “when he became a man, he put the ways of childhood behind him.”  That’s what the book “Loving in the Grown Zone” by Alfred Edmond, Jr. and Zara Green touches on.  When we men put away the childishloving3-e1424805287274 things we did when we were single, we become cognizant of our women and their needs.  When we live in the “Grown Zone,” we honor our women.  We should love them, but we should take the love a step further and honor them in front of others.  We should respect our ladies and love them above all.  We should love them so much we are willing to work on ourselves to be the best we can be for them. Men should seek counseling or help for any issues of disrespect, distrust or abuse we may have experienced which could come out in our new relationship.  When we are grown, we love and appreciate ourselves, so we have the ability to love and appreciate the place others hold in our lives.

Maturity has financial discipline, sexual boundaries and adult-like characteristics.  Maturity in committed relationships is finding a way to love your woman in each and every way possible.  Put on your big boy pants, put in the work and she will appreciate you for it!

Zara D. Green and Alfred Edmond Jr. are co-principals of A2Z Personal Growth Enterprises, producer of The Grown Zone discussion series and related media properties. The couple leads sessions on personal growth, self-love and resiliency, healthy relationships and “Grown” decision-making via online and live events across the country. They know this book is changing the conversation about healthy love. You can grab your copy HERE.

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About the Author ()

Jay Hurt is the author of The 9 Tenets of a Successful Relationship-for Singles. Personal experience, a liberation through faith and an appreciation for his perspective led Jay to share his insight on relationships. Dealing with challenging topics by confronting them with faith and common sense, Jay aspires to share wisdom to help others become fulfilled and blessed in their relationships. Jay lives in Nashville, TN and has two daughters, Kristina and Jalen.

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  1. As an adult it’s important to how you are mature enough to handle a real relationship. No one wants to waste their time on someone who isn’t ready.

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