5 Qualities Women Want in a Man

Filed in Relationships by on March 12, 2014 2 Comments

Happy couple sitting at beachI hear lots of discussion around what women really want in a man.  They can range anywhere from tall, dark and handsome to “I want someone who connects with me on a spiritual level.”  The basic instinct of all relationships is what I call, the first law of a relationship, which is attraction.  There has to be a level of attraction to get to the next step, whatever that might be.  When women talk about what they want in a man, they are really telling you what turns on their pilot light of attraction.  Here are five qualities that women want in their men:


If you can make a woman laugh, you can pierce the armor to her heart.  Many women are detail-oriented.  They are caught up in making sure things are done the way they are supposed to be.  That requires a high level of focus and seriousness.  We can offer so much to a woman’s life if we can just make her laugh.  Laughter is good for the soul and it’s good for your dating life.  Harmless jokes, checking out comedy shows and just being lighthearted in general or when possible will make a woman keep coming back for more.


There is no substitute for quality time.  If you don’t put in the time, she’s going to get the time somewhere, whether it’s with you or with someone else.  Also, note that I’m saying you need to spend quality time.  If you are dating, this doesn’t mean spending every waking moment in her presence, she’ll get sick of you!  It means when you do spend time with her, make it meaningful.  Find time for fun things together, or interesting conversation.  Even watching TV can count as quality time on occasion.


Most studies I have seen indicate men don’t communicate well in relationships.  In the sessions I have been a part of, I find it goes a step farther, men often don’t try to listen.  We speak different languages as men and women to begin with.  Knowing this going in, you should make it a point to become a student of your mate.  Learn how she communicates to you—then actually listen.  Ask yourself this serious question:  Do you listen, or do you just wait to talk?  Practice being silent while she’s talking, and focus on what she’s saying, context clues in her conversation, tone and body language.  Sometimes, repeat what she’s saying for confirmation when you respond.  There are times when no response is needed, she just wants you to listen!  If you listen in silence to what she’s saying, and the other clues I mentioned, you will learn when she wants a response and when she just needs a listening ear.  Women need a man who truly listens and hears her wants and needs.


I normally subscribe to the thought that women need appreciation but for this article we’re going to use the word recognition.  I’m going with recognition because it needs to be tangible in your mind.  You have to recognize the work she is doing.  We have to recognize a woman’s worth and her value.  If she’s the mother of your children, show her appreciation for this and recognize her by saying you love how she raises the children with you.  If you’re dating and she’s making time out of her busy schedule to be with you, recognize the fact she makes concessions to be with you and tell her so.  It’s great to recognize your mate in front of others, but start with recognizing her sacrifice and contributions just between the two of you.  Appreciation and recognition is another way of showing her you pay attention to all that she does for you.

Be a Man

You don’t have to be a thug, a ballplayer or make six-figures to attract a woman, but you have to have the qualities of a man to do so.  Dare to lead by example for your family.  You will wear a lot of hats, wear them proudly.  Some will include being a provider, protector, father, head-of-household, oil-changer, the-man-that-the-kids-have-to-have-a-talk-with-when-he-gets-home, the-comforter-who-makes-everything-alright, a friend, a lover and ultimately a husband.  Women love a man who is up to the challenge of being a mature, devoted man that adds to her life.

These five qualities will go a long way toward fulfilling the needs of the woman of your dreams.

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About the Author ()

Jay Hurt is the author of The 9 Tenets of a Successful Relationship-for Singles. Personal experience, a liberation through faith and an appreciation for his perspective led Jay to share his insight on relationships. Dealing with challenging topics by confronting them with faith and common sense, Jay aspires to share wisdom to help others become fulfilled and blessed in their relationships. Jay lives in Nashville, TN and has two daughters, Kristina and Jalen.

Comments (2)

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  1. chikezie says:

    Men also need attention and listening ear. A balance should be strike so that both paties will cherish each other

  2. Jay Hurt says:

    I definitely agree that relationships need balance. When each partner is fulfilling the needs of the other, that’s a great beginning toward striking that balance. Thanks for the comment!

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