Financial Friday: Being on the Same Page

Filed in Financial Friday, Relationships by on October 18, 2013 0 Comments

Financial Friday:

Are You And Your Mate On The Same Page Financially?

I’m going to begin to drill down into specific topics that are intricate parts of relationships. Those topics include health and well-being, finances, children and spirituality. We’re going to bring in guest bloggers and share more wisdom and insight into these subjects. Expect to see us expand from there, but this is where we begin the journey to narrow the brush strokes of how we paint our relationships to fit the expectations of our mates and ourselves. We’re going to offer the financial topics on Fridays, hence the name “Financial Friday.”

We’re starting the series of topics dealing with finance in relationships. I have heard it said that “romance without finance has no chance.” I think it’s better said (but less poetic) that romance without finance is non-existent. How we manage our money is a part of our everyday lives. Regardless of if we are dating, married or single, we have to be capable of managing our money wisely to develop the financial security we want for ourselves and our families. Individual and couples financial development is one of the most important things in our lives, but it’s not taught in most schools in America. Many households don’t take the time to teach financial acuity to their children.

The lack of financial teaching for children, (which leads to financially illiterate adults) is one of the greatest deficiencies of our country.

Couple discussing financesJoint Mission

This brings us to our first Financial Friday lesson which is we must work together to be on the same page.

Studies show that fights over money are the leading predictor of divorce. I would offer that many of those issues are because couples are not on the same page when it comes to managing money. Two are now one…figuratively of course, but there is some literal sense to this phrase in a marriage. His money is now your money and vice-versa. If you are working toward goals, you want to be in lock-step on how you achieve those goals. For example, if you want to save for a house, you don’t buy big ticket items. You don’t want to spend more before you buy a home, you want to spend less. Take control of your money so you both know where it goes and every dollar is accounted for. Whatever the mission is, you and your co-pilot have to be in agreement on how to attack the target.

Understand Your Tendencies

Being of one accord on financial matters in a marriage requires us to find out where we stand on financial matters before we get married. If you are a saver and your man is a spender, you need to have this discussion before you walk down the aisle. You have to be in agreement that you will be able to work together to suit each other’s needs. It important to decide on how you want to proceed as a couple prior to saying I do especially if you are on opposite sides of the spectrum where finances are concerned. When we set proper expectations for each other, our differences and tendencies are easier to work through, especially with financial matters.

Consistency

Dealing with the finances of the household is a tedious process to some, a simple chore to others. However you look at the process, the essential component is being consistent. There are going to be ups and downs. There are going to be times when the budget doesn’t add up. There will definitely be times when we feel like we simply don’t have enough money to do whatever is it we feel we need to do. Those things are all inevitable, but as long as we are continuing to come to the table and address the issues—together, then we can work—together, to accomplish anything.

You and your mate being on the same page is not a thought to consider once a month when doing a budget. Being on the same page financially is the mindset that you will continually practice agreeing on financial decisions together.

Jay Hurt © 2013

 

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